Hooray For Dolly(I've got)wood

Some people say that the internet is an amazing place full of info for anyone who wants it. Others say its just a big electronic wank mag'.
I tend to fall in to the later camp, but I'm not complaining!!!

However, a severe net addiction does have its rewards... like spotting that Dolly Parton is touring the UK next year. Now, thats something you can't learn from a book!
Tickets went on sale this morning, so I sent my partner off to work with instructions to ring the NEC at 9 o'clock sharp!
Minutes past, then I received a text asking me "Flat or up the side"? Side I replied...
Another text, company net access down, can't order...
Another text, phones down too!!!
My hopes of seeing Dolly were fading fast... but then, when I had resigned myself to missing out on the chance to see Dame Dolly... another text......

"two tickets, 10 rows from the front"
10 rows from the front... dear god I'll be able to tweak those mighty fine blue grass nipples from that distance!
This is her first major tour of Europe since the 70's, and I for one can't wait.... Now, where did I put those Rinestones?

If I was in any doubt that this would be one of the campest gigs I have ever been too, the advertisement on the NEC web site cleared that up for me straight away....

"If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain." Do you know which 'philosopher' said that? Dolly Parton! And people say she's just a big pair of tits.

David Brent AKA Ricky Gervais (The Office)