Because They're Gay

I posted a comment on a gay blog lastnight. The blog, on queerty.com
was refering to the story about Greg Barker the Conservative MP who recently split from his wife after it was revealed he had had a gay affair.

I have previously blogged about this on myspace, titled "60.1% Anti Gay".

My simple 15 word comment, refering to the fact that politicians who resign tend to make come backs when the public have forgotten their , and I quote "crime".
Now I used crime as a catch all word, a way to describe indiscretions like Cecil Parkinson and full blown " your nicked " situations like Jeffery Archer.
However, because of the use of the word crime, and because the previous comment to mine had the word "sleazy" in it, someone got very upset and accused us of being more right wing than the Daily Mail and worst of all... homophobes!!!
If you would like to see the comment and my reply please click on the link queerty.com

Now, I realy do get pissed off with people who think that just because I'm gay I should be some bleeding heart liberal who will forgive anyone, anything, because I'm gay so therefore I'm in no possition to critisize!
BOLLOCKS!!!
As you will see from my comment on queerty, my problem isn't with this MP having an affair, its with his appauling record on gay issues..., but apparently I should forgive this... because he's gay!
Apparently, I should support all gay people and not question their actions.... because they're gay!
When I was younger I guess I did lean more to the far left in my views, I think this may have been a reaction to the Thatcher government. However, as I have got older I find that I am now centre left on some issues and on others centre right. I don't really see that being gay should preclude me from having these views.
My mom is costantly surprised when I air my views on topics that she would assume I would support or not support, depending on the issue. I guess she thinks that being gay makes me see things differently, makes me feel sorry for people because I should know what its like to be critrisized! Well, yes, I do know what it is like to be on the recieving end of unjustified critisism, critisism that comes from ignorance, but that dosn't mean that given the facts on something I am going to keep my mouth shut and not have an opinion. Or put another way, I'm not going to support someone just because they are the underdog!
Gay people are just as infallible as anyone else in society and I realy don't think that we should feel obliged to side with or support someone who, if they were straight, we would not support. Or to withhold critisim.......

Because they're gay!!!

BA is British AIRWAYS.... Not ANGLICANS!!! - Originaly posted on myspace on 24th November 2006

BBC News

This whole up roar over the stupid woman who wants to wear her cross to work is so bloody boring and incredibly annoying. People struggle every day in jobs they hate, under appauling conditions and for low pay. Yet everyone from politicians to religious leaders have jumped to the defence of a woman who wants to be bloody awkward!
I get sick of hearing news reports which say that BA are banning her from wearing her cross.... they are not!!! They have a company policy that jewelry should be hidden.
So why should this policy be changed just for the religious?
Should the trolley dollys be alowed to flaunt their nipple rings?
Is her religious belief so fragile that wearing her cross on the outside of her clothes makes all the difference to her?
Does her god not exist if he isn't rammed in everyones face?
If BA cave in and give way to these christian crazies it will open the flood gates for other demands by god botherer's... which ever god that may be!!!

Recycled Prisoners - Originaly posted on myspace on 23 November

Once again the British Tax Payer has to fork out for another hard luck story, this time an alledged wrongly convicted Liverpool football fan.
He was convicted of the attempted murder of a barman in Bulgaria and given a 10 year sentence. But in a deal worked out by Bularian and British officials, he will be allowd to return to the UK and spend the rest of his sentence in a UK jail.
Question: Why should we have to pay for the board and keep of a con, tried and convicted in a foreign country?
Its bad enough that Britains jails are full to bursting point, but then to have other countries sending us their prisoners is taking the piss!
I'm affraid the bleeding heart's who have campaigned to get him sent home should be sent the bill for keeping him!
BBC News

Miss Nona Hendryx

In 1987 I saw a short video clip on a music show, I think it must have been the Roxy or the Chart Show, anyway, what I saw was a gorgeous black woman in a state of the art (remember its the 80's) video. The song was called "Why Should I Cry" and the artist was Nona Hendryx.
Even though it was just a sneek peek at the video I loved the song and immediatly bought the 12".
I found out from a friend who I worked with at the time that Nona used to be a member of Labelle, Patti Labelles group in the 70's. I was already a huge Patti fan so I was eager to hunt down Labelle material...after all, if it had Nona and Patti in it, it had to be good. I wasn't wrong and for years I have enjoyed their old material.

Jump to 2006 and I've just been searching YouTube and in a moment of inspiration I thought to look up Nona....
Well, here ladies and gentlemen is the video, the first time I have seen this video in 19 years and the first time I have seen it in its entirety...
Please, a big hand, for NONA HENDRYX!!!!!!!!

Depression

I went to the doctors this week. Wednesday to be precise. I had been summoned to see a doctor before they would continue with my repeat prescription for the anti depressant Seroxat.
I've been on this drug for about 7 years now and up untill recently I took it religiously every day.
The past year though I began to cut down slowly untill a couple of months ago when I stopped taking them.
This wasn't the first time that I had tried to wean myself of them, I have attepted this at least 3 times before over the past 7 years, each time having to start taking them again when the old syptoms returned.
This time though I was more confident that I would be successful. 18 months ago I moved to the country, got a new job and things seemed calm in my life. It was for this reason that I decided to have one more go at coming of the tablets. I felt I owed it to myself to at least attempt it.
I should say that my syptoms are quite mild compared to some sufferers of depression, a lack of serotonin has caused me to suffer spells of melancholy ( I realy don't know how to describe how I used to feel, this seems like as good a word as any). I wasn't even aware that what I was experiencing was depression untill a doctor who took the time to speak to me diagnosed it. I had gone to him because I had been feeling run down.... little did I know!
When he first told me that what I had felt inside for so many years was infact depression I felt a mixture of emotions. Walking out the doctors office with a prescription for anti depresants was a shock and I was embarressed but relieved at the outcome.
Trying to describe the difference the tablets made to me is difficult, depression isn't like a pain or ache that you can express to others. But I felt like a mist had lifted... if that sounds corny I'm sorry but there is no other way to explain how I felt when the tablets kicked in.
Begining the course of tablets also jump started me to examine diet and lifestyle, excersise became important to me as well as cutting down of cafine and other food sources that mimic the actions of depression.
So, 7 years later I'm still on the tablets, I'm open about it to evryone who knows me, the only people I have kept it from are my parents... I realy don't think they would understand, my mom especially would fret if she knew.
The 3 , now 4 failed attempts at coming of Seroxat isn't a problem for me, my previous doctor said that many people never come of them ( the idea of mild anti depressants like seroxat is to kick start the brain into producing its own seratonin, some people, like myself, can't produce enough)
I try and view it this way... many people put far worse things into their bodies day in day out, in the form of junk food, cigarettes and illegal drugs, but I, by popping one small pill, can enjoy life unhindered with depression.
I began this blog by saying that I had gone to the doctors for a renewed repeat prescription, this would normaly not be a big deal, but because I am now registered at a new doctors because I moved I was a little worried that the doctor might give me a hard time and quiz me on why I felt the need to stay on the tablets, luckily he seemed happy with the fact that I had attempted one last withdrawl and actioned a repeat prescription for a year.
I realy wish I was eloquent enough to describe the change that those tiny white tablets have made to my life, but I can't, and I won't attempt to do so for fear of understating the good they have done me.
All I will say is that they are not mood altering anti depressants, they just put the individual on a level playing field. I still have moods (just ask my partner), but I also have joy... genuine, NATURAL happiness...
I have no idea why I have just sat here with Star Trek: TNG on the tv and wrote this blog... but here it is!

I've Deciphered The Da Vinci Code!... S.H.I.T - Originally Posted On myspace 21 November 2006

The dvd has been on since 9pm. I have fallen asleep once and had to rewind untill I found the spot where I blacked out.
This film is the dullest, slowest unimaginable mess I think I have ever seen. Tom Hanks looks more and more like Oliver Hardy with each appearence on the silver screen.


Oliver hardy Tom Hanks

As for Audrey Tautou, is this woman realy French? Because she came across more like an extra from 'Allo 'Allo!
I should have known better, the book took me about a month to read and here I am with over an hour to go. I shall have to turn it off soon and watch the remainder tomorrow..... or next month or maybe never!
As I sit here typing, the two dimentional characters on screen are chatting away in French and I can't even be bothered to lift my eyes away from the laptop to read the subtitles.
I played the video game on PS2 a few months ago and I recommend that you do the same, rather than watch this mess.

One crappy story that trys to discredit another, older crappier story.
Watch at your peril. And to think I missed Titty Bang Bang for this.......


UPDATE:

So it finaly finished, this piece of over blown, up-its-own arse pile of pooh... did I say I didn't like it. I finaly crawled into bed at about 12.20, grumbling to my partner who had refused to watch it, that I had wasted two and a half hours of my life that I would never get back.... his "Told you so" I guess was justified.
He had made it clear that he didn't want to watch it because EVERYONE had told him how bad it was. I therefore had made it clear that I expected him in bed by 9pm so that I could start watching it at and have it end at a reasonable time. Of course, this didn't take into account the 45 minutes that I nodded off for. Or the the constant pausing as I went to get "just one more" biscuit.
I even resorted to a can of diet pepsi at 11.15 in an attempt to stay awake.
The worrying thing, is that my brother-in-law actually bought this DVD!
Although not quite as worrying as the proud boast at the begining of the film that "Angels & Demons", another Dan Brown tome is "COMING SOON"
God, ficticious or otherwise, help us!

Charity Begins At Home - Originally Posted On myspace 17 November 2006

So Prince Charles has used his influence and pleaded with the authorities in Pakistan to get a convicted murderer released.
BBC News
Is this why we send our royals around the world... when there are poor murderers languishing in British jails?
Come on Charles.... charity begins at home!



See also, Children In Need blog

Children In Need? I Didn't Know They Were Extinct! - Originally Appeared On myspace On 17th November 2006

On the subject of charity, it appears that if you don't cry at the film clips on tonights Children In Need, then, apparently you don't have a heart!
Who passes this judgement? Lemon sucking news reader Natasha Kaplinsky.
This is one of the reasons that I never watch these kind of shows. The emotional blackmail that is relied upon to raise money for things that in a civilised society the government should provide is unacceptable.
If I see one more video clip with Eva Cassidy warbling in the background I'll scream.
Its not that I don't feel sorry for these poor kids, but if we remove the burden of responsibility from the government we will find ourselves in a situation where ALL of societies ills will need to be funded by charitable donations.
When a government can waste billions of pounds on an illegal war ( which itself has caused untold misery to the children of Iraq) then surely it can find a few million to help unfortunate kids in this country.



(See also Charity Begins At Home blog)

Jumping On The Bandwagon - Original Appeared On myspace 16th November 2006

The Queen's speech has revealed that the government is to introduce a new Criminal Justice Bill. The gay group Stonewall are calling on the government to introduce an extension for the offense of incitement to homophobic hatred.

However, a report on the website Rainbow Network has raised the question of one section of the law which would ban the possession of online and printed porn depicting "scenes of extreme sexual violence" and other obscene material, those found guilty of these offenses could face up to three years in prison.

Now, I don't really care what consenting adults get up to in their own homes, but there was a quote in the report from a member of the BDSM community who said
"I could well be an innocent victim of this new bill if it is made law.
The government do not recognize an image as being that of consensual "play," all they see is a crime that could and will create serious harm or death. They want to dictate what my sexuality is and how I should be doing things."

Now I'm a little confused, she uses the word sexuality when talking about her BDSM sexual habits... surely liking rubber and chains isn't a sexuality?
Isn't sexuality something you are born with?
Are there some babies who would rather wear a gimp mask instead of a bonnet?

She goes on...
"I know that the gay community themselves had a battle with acceptance not so long ago, and you all fought it and gained a huge amount of respect from everyone because you are open, you showed that your sexuality was indeed yours."

Is she suggesting that the BDSM community (?) experience the same struggles and discrimination in the eyes of the law as gay people?
Being gay is something that we are born with, something that we go through life with. something that for far too long we have be persecuted for. To suggest that this is in some way the same kind of struggle that people who get their jolly's from being shrink wrapped is rediculous!

And breathe...........

I'm A Viewer... I'm Outta Here

Well it had to happen... I'm all Reality TV'd out. After getting all excited last week about the impending start of I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here, I have to report that I have given up on it after just one episode!
I can usualy stick with shows that require some kind of viewer loyalty, shows with long runs such as 24 can keep me coming back for more week after week.
It used to be the same with reality show, Big Brother (vanilla & celebrity), X Factor, The Salon and I'm A Celeb'. This one particularly was always an easy show to follow as it was the shortest run out of all of them. The last 2 series of BB lost me half way through, annoying little twats who I don't mind having their 15 minutes of fame, but I do mind when it goes on for months!
But, now I A C has gone the way of all of the other shows.
I think I ( and I'm sure ITV) are a little disappointed at David Gest's relative normality. Far from the freakish, diva like drama queen we were expecting he comes across pretty sane.
He certainly seemed to throw himself into it during the first episode and from what I have heard he has quite a good sence of humour.
This and his apparent self awareness has come as a surprise.

ITV really has lost the plot in terms of programming and giving the audience what it wants. These days ( and the BBC to a lesser extent) find a format and use it till its dead. In the 90's it was make over shows, as we enter the 00's its sadly reality show after reality show.
Even when ITV do attempt drama its usually just an excuse to use the latest soap star who has decided that they are to big for the Street or the Square.

At least the Beeb attempt to try and do something new. Bleak House was stunning and the return of Doctor Who has once again allowed familys to sit down and watch TV together, instead of kids pushed of to their rooms with their own TV, Video and/or DVD or worse still a computer!!!
Planet Earth is worth the licence fee on its own ( not realy, but you get the point )

TV companies treat us the same way that supermarket do, they make us believe we want something we don't really need, we don't need to watch Faith Brown soaping up her huge tits, or watch Jan Leaming needing a slap. They trick us in to watching 5 episodes of Corrie or 6 episodes of Emmerdale ( I neither no nor care how many times Eastenders is on), on the off chance that something might happen... but it never does happen, at least not untill they have milked it dry for a couple of months and then we get a very disappointing climax ( and we all know what they are like.. no?... oh, just me then)

So, I hope that they have fun in the jungle, but I'm saying goodbye. Oh, and can someone tell Toby Anstis to take off that bloody bandana, he looks like he's receiving chemotherapy!

Fortyphobic

I came out to my friend David on Saturday... not as a raving homosexual, but as a fortyphobic.
I've only ever joked with people before about how I feel about the big 4-0, but as we sat drinking our pint mug of Starbucks coffee, watching the world... and totty go by I came clean.
Getting older never really bothered me in the past, as each birthday came and went I was happy in the knowledge that I wasn't really that old.
But come next June, the 26th to be precise I shall hit that landmark age. The one so bad they had to invent a crass adage to make those hitting it feel better.

LIFE BEGINS AT 40


I didn't come out until I was 22, so most of my teenage years were spent locked in my bedroom, when I should have been out having fun . I think that this has left a tiny drop of bitterness hidden just below the surface and as I approach 40 it has slowly begun to seep out.

I wonder what it is like for young gay people these days? Do they still feel the isolation that I felt in the 80's?
Today, when politicians, pop stars and Christian Evangelicals are openly gay do young gay people take strength from that when they consider coming out?

I'm sure that coming out is as difficult for the individual today as it has always been, but I can't help but feel that there is a more secure safty net for those doing so now.

I had about 3 attempts at coming out, each time losing my bottle and scurrying back into the closet. My main problem, and I think that it is still the main problem that is faced today, was "what will my parents say"?
Of course, the things that we go through in life are what makes us who we are, and I'm sure had I come out earlier I would have been a very different person from who I am today... whether that would be good or bad no one will ever know. I wouldn't change my past though, because if i did I might not have experienced the wonderful things i did when I finally came out and got a life.

But it doesn't stop you wondering "what if"... "what if the internet had been around in 1984" for example.
Would having the freedom that the net brings have made me come out sooner or maybe later?
Had I had the opportunity to have sexual encounters maybe I wouldn't have made the effort to come out when I finally did, or maybe I would have met other gay people on-line who would have given me the support and courage to do it earlier. Maybe I'd have a arse like a wind sock by now!!!

What ever the outcome I do feel that regrets are negative things that can weigh you down if you let them, and its only now as I appraoch this birthday that they are starting to surface. I have no doubt that when I wake up on the 27th June 2007 all of this will be forgotten... until I reach 60 that is!!! When, if you happen to be walking past Starbucks, you will probably see two old men, drinking coffee, eyeing up the 40 year old!!!

Ralph Was Sick... Ralph Was A Homosexual

A friend sent me a link to this American ( wouldn't you know) anti gay propaganda infomercial from the 1950's. Although with the current climate in the States at the moment it could quite easily be from 2006!
As sick as it is I'm sure it will put a smile on your face.

The most amazing thing about this film is that it wasn't created by a crazy religious group, but by a police department and a school district board!

I have also put the link to the youtube page that it came from, the comments are full of fuck wits who think it should be remade for todays youth!!!

Bullseye!

I recieved a cd from Amazon today that I ordered on Sunday.
"Double Top - The Very Best Of Darts"

Now, those of you younger than me will probably have no idea who or what Darts were.
Well they turned up on the music scene in 1977 with a hit single called Daddy Cool. This got to no'6 in the charts, but was no'1 as far as this 10 year old was concerned.
Over the next 4 years they kept this young boy happy, releasing one great song after another. Taken from 3 great studio albums.
I even got to meet them after a concert at Nottingham University in 1979 which my dad took me too. I still have the signed programme upstairs. I began the concert in the middle of the hall, but eventually I managed to inch my way to the stage, leaving my poor dad standing there on his own. Meeting them in the changing room after remains one of my most cherished memories.
I was it is fair to say, Darts crazy!


So, when I saw that they had a new double disc best of out I had to have it.
I've got one of those cheap and nasty budget cd's, the kind that you find in no particular order at Woolworths, with a shitty band pic which isn't how I remember them and just the main hits. But this, THIS... is in a wonderfuly packaged case, with vertually every track they ever recorded. Some thought has gone in to this release, to celebrate the bands 30th birthday.
Amazon allow you to track your item and I knew there was a good chance it would come today, so instead of my usual lunch of a sandwich and a nap in the car I drove home... and there it was, laying on the floor in front of the door.
I only had time to transfer one disc onto my ipod, but oh what a joy. I sat at work with the biggest soppiest grin on my face as I listened to album tracks that I probably haven't heard for about 25 years.
I had forgotten just how good they were...
When we think back to our past we tend to imagine things being better than they actually were, nostalgia playing tricks on our brains, but Darts didn't disappoint.


I've loved many different performers over the years since then, but none have had my undivided attention like this band. And now, 30 years later I can obsess about them all over again in this blog!!!
Amazing Darts . Com

.. >..>

Saddam Hussein sentenced to death

Saddam Hussein was convicted over the killing of 148 people in revenge for an assassination attempt on him in 1982.
Today it was announced that he will face the death penalty.
BBC News


Saddam Hussein:
148 dead = Death by hanging




George W Bush & Tony Blair's Illegal War:
Iraqi civilians: Estimates from 47,000 (Iraq Body Count) and 655,000 (Lancet, 2006)
Iraqi security forces*: 5,556
US military: 2,812
UK military: 120
Other coalition military: 119
Journalists: 77
*Since June 2003
Source: Brookings Institution

Verdict = Free Men

I can't help thinking that this verdict comes suspiciously close to the mid term elections in the US which take place on the 7th. Will Bush use this to justify his war in Iraq?
I wouldn't put anything past this man.

Navratilova protests

At a time when stem cell research is causing controversy in the USA, and with President Bush wading in to the debate, siding with the right wing Christians it appalls me that at Oregon State University and Oregon Health and Science University are carrying out tests on "gay" sheep with the hope of curing them.
Whilst stem cell research has the potential to help millions the "gay sheep" research will only cause pain.
The research teams are attempting to manipulate the sheep's sexual preferences and make them heterosexual. The tests are costing millions of dollars and are funded by taxpayers
Oregon Health and Science University experimenter Charles Roselli is dissecting the brains of "male-oriented" (homosexual) rams in order to find the hormonal mechanisms behind homosexual tendencies. Once found, he hopes to change them.

Former tennis champ Martina Navratilova is campaigning to end these vile experiments.
America is quickly becoming a fascist state and this, if it turns out to be true, would make the Nazis proud!
Gay.Com News
I shall be emailing the OSU to express my revulsion.

Anita & Me

So I was listening to my ipod at work today, something I do every day from 8 till 4.30 with a break of 45 mins for lunch, and of course if someone is rude enough to disturb me lol. I'm a big podcast fan but to break up the word only listening I try and listen to some old cd's that I don't normaly get a chance to listen too.

Today I listened to Anita Bakers Rapture which I have a very used 20 year old copy of.
Its a good album, even now all these years later it still stands up to the test of time.
One track in particular stands out from the rest as it has for the last 20 years and that track is No One In The World. The first time I heard this track one part stood out from the rest, just two short lines that have stuck with me all these years and is a reminder of the past.

"Are you happy now with your life Well, for me, I'm breaking inside"

I think that in 1986 I was in a pretty shitty place and that particular part of the song, and the way Anita Baker sang it, full of what I took to be desperation realy struck a cord with the 18 year old me, firmly locked in my closet, hating every painful moment of it.

In the song the person is singing of a love lost, for me at that time there was no one to lose! But those two lines were, in my mind, me, speaking to anyone who would listen... Are you happy with your life?...... Me? Nah.

When I hear them now as a 39 year old man who has experienced the REAL meaning of those words... i.e bad relationships lol I can be transported back to when I was 18 and although those times were truly crap, I can now see how my life has changed for the better.

Christian Voice

I'm Cured! Not of my homosexuality, but my bloggers block!!! Video Added Nov' 3rd

Just when I was beginning to think that I had nothing to blog about I came across this little gem whilst surfing this evening.
Rainbow Network
I thought that America had the monopoly on Christian fundamentalist but it seems that we in the UK have our own rabid bible bashers.

The right wing organisation Christian Voice has been targeting Police Forces around the country questioning them on their recruitment of gay officers, as well as demanding information on the number of those officers who had AIDS. They also called into question the need for any campaign that would encourage people to report homophobic attacks.
The leader of Christian Voice, Stephen Green, spent the summer at Pride events in London & Brighton. Now, I'm gay and even I didn't go to 2 Pride events!!!

His appearance at these events was to inform us that, apparently, we are all sinners!!! And for good measure calling for gay pride-goers to be arrested for indecency! Now, a glittery crop top and skin tight hipsters might be a tad tacky... but indecent?

The obsession with homosexuality that these people have is quite frankly bazaar.
Why, when there is so much suffering in the world would people who purport to follow the words and deeds of Jesus, waste their time inciting hatred for their fellow man? Could it be that they are just lazy or maybe they are trying to suppress sinful urges?

I was under the impression that Jesus was all about love and compassion and helping those in need.
But by their very actions they are calling into question and undermining the teachings of Christ.
I'm not religious by any stretch of the imagination and frankly I think the Bible is no more factual than the Daily Mail, but if I was of a religious bent, I would be pretty pissed off that Mr Green and his ilk were highjacking my religion and bringing it into disrepute.